Posts archive for: January, 2008
  • Nice!

    Benny wanted to walk up to meet his daddy at the station tonight

    As I came out a man who was obviously under the influence came round the corner. He made no attempt to move out of the way instead he just stood staring at me till I moved.

    There were three more people behind him, One of them, a girl. mumbled at me. "Can you spare us 50P mate"

    Pardon I said

    The girl repeated her request in a slow and sarcastic voice as if she was speaking to an idiot who hadn't understood her simple request!

    No was my answer

    I decided it would be safer to walk towards the house and was glad when I saw my little'un bouncing down the road towards me

  • Ready, aim, fire!


    Look what I bought tonight!!

    You put them in the toilet to train small boys to hit the target.

    So just as I'm getting one out of the packet Ben lets loose and wee's all over the living room floor and no amount of shouting stop worked!!

    Undaunted we take him into the loo and chuck the ball into the pan. I take aim and just as I start to wee I see a small head appear between me and the loo so I have to stop sharpish to avoid washing Ben's hair!!

    As I stop he shouts out "You missed Daddy"

    After that it was tricky to hit the target as my whole body was shaking with laughter - we can only wait to see if the little balls help.

    He did however do a poo in the potty!! Only thing was he still won't sit down and the sight that greeted me as I walked in tonight was of Sarah holding the potty behind Ben to catch poo as it fell out of his bum :roll:

  • Potty about pants!

    So it started on Sunday night when Ben was lying in bed

    "Dad-deee I want you"

    So I go up and he says "daddy I want to talk about pants...."

    So it would appear that he has finally decided that he is ready for potty training!! Sarah and I both ended up having conversations with him about how if he learnt to go for weewee's on the potty we could buy him some nice pants (with Thomas or Bob on them for example) and he could wear Big boy pants (like daddy!!)

    So on Sunday we bought him some pants and on Monday Sarah started Potty training in earnest.

    She spent the whole day chasing him round the house trying to catch piss in a pot - the carpet got washed about 6 times and she texted me to say the house smelled of dettol!!

    He seems to know when he needs to go but doesn't like the potty or toilet - apparently a Thomas potty will help! :roll::roll:

    Day 2 seems to be getting off to a better start!!

  • There's people out there turning music into gold


    Sad news today that John Stewart has died at the age of 68. He collapsed and died in his hotel room in San Diego possibly from a major stroke or brain aneurysm. He had been diagnosed as being in the early stages of Alzheimer's.

    I first heard him while at University when he had a hit with his song Gold. I bought that album and the follow up Fire in the Wind. I then lost touch until in 2003 when I was in the loo at the Borderline in Charing Cross Road and saw a gig advertised. Thankfully I went along and spent a wonderful evening in a company of a fine and entertaining songwriter.

    He will of course be remembered for a song he wrote for someone else - one he described when he played it as part of his "weak ending" at the Borderline as possibly being known all over the world - he said he could pictur a farmer singing it while pulling a yak out of a swamp!

    So here as a tribute are the words to that song....

    Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings
    Of the bluebird as she sings.
    The six o'clock alarm would never ring.
    But it rings and I rise,
    Wipe the sleep out of my eyes.
    My shavin' razor's cold and it stings.

    Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
    Oh, what can it mean.
    To a daydream believer
    And a homecoming queen.

    You once thought of me
    As a white knight on a steed.
    Now you know how happy I can be.
    Oh, and our good times start and end
    Without dollar one to spend.
    But how much, baby, do we really need.

    Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
    Oh, what can it mean.
    To a daydream believer
    And a homecoming queen.
    Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
    Oh, what can it mean.
    To a daydream believer
    And a homecoming queen.

    Rest peacefully John - you'll be sadly missed

  • Underage drinking

    With all the recent publicity (including my brother on the news) regarding underage drinking and it's problems I'm sure no further discussion is really required.

    BUT I was very disturbed in the early hours when a drunken voice was heard outside our window singing:

    "The wheels on the bus go round and round....

  • Minging thing #3

    Eldest step daughter has finally remembered to bring her PE kit home to be washed.....

    .....first time since September 88|

  • Golf!

    Bloody golf!!

    That's all anyone in my office ever talks about!!

    Am I the ONLY person in the world who thinks it's a pile of shit?

    Bloody stupid game!

  • Rockin' at the Beacon

    We went to a gig on Saturday night at a local pub called the Beacon Court. My eldest daughter told us her friends band were playing there that night so we decided to go.

    It turned out there were three bands on - the first of which were called Your Broken Ego and were, in the words of an overheard conversation in the gents, a bit blink (182)! They were loud and as far as I could tell quite competent musicians BUT god were they dull. All songs played at full tilt with no variation or subtlety any where to be seen. We hoped this wasn't going to set the tone for the night. They gave away free CD's so I suppose you have to give them points for trying!

    Next up were Posture troop (not as Sarah thought she'd heard them say!) who were a trio (although at one point I wondered if they had a fourth member hiding in the wings!) They put me in mind of Cream or Ten Years After and some elements of Acoustic Ladyland. However their set was troubled by a troublesome guitar which fed back all the time and eventually ended up being tossed into the corner and stomped on! The main problem though was a sound system that favoured the bass and drums to the exclusion of everything else but this was the same for all three bands. I quite liked them though and would probably go and see them again.

    My daughter had come along with her best mate and her best mates boyfriend so at one point I sent her a text saying "you look like you're play gooseberry - would you like a drink". She came over and we had a chat - I remember my Dad turning up at a gig when I was her age but that was John Otway and Wild Willy Barratt and Otway was doing something very rude with a microphone when I turned round and saw my dad standing at the back of the venue!

    I asked her which of her friends bands we had come to see the one he drums in or the one he plays guitar in. She said he was playing guitar and singing - well sort of singing she said! She also told me the band had changed it's name and was now called - wait for it.....

    ...Tyrannosaurus Alan!

    I was expecting the same sort of music as the first band but my daughter had mentioned a Sax player and I could also see a trumpet so i was intrigued. When the band kicked off it's first number (called Mango Number 5 - I think) it was quite a surprise to find it had a Ska beat! I suppose the best way to describe it would be Hi-energy Ska or Ska/punk but it was really infectious and the brass section really sounded great. I could see lots of influences most of which were probably indirect but it would have had me down the front dancing had it not been for the fact Sarah would have killed me for embarrassing my daughter!

    Sadly their set was marred by the same sound issues that had been present all evening - the tracks on their My Space show how overpowering the bass and drums were in the venue. There was an odd moment where they invited "anyone who knows the words" to come up and sing on a cover version of Kate Nash's Foundations and several people took them up on it. Sadly the set was quite short and I could have listened to them for longer - must see them again when they have a decent sound system!

    I downloaded their tracks from My Space and must remember to ask my daughter if there are any more around!

  • Medway Council recycling update

    You may remember how I blooged the other day about how our council had printed up a nice leaflet on card and delivered one to every house but how they had the wrong dates for collections on them.

    Well last night another one was pushed through our door printed on cheaper paper and showing the correct dates.

    What a waste of money eh?

  • Minging thing #2

    The cat had a poo on the bathroom floor about 40 minutes ago.

    Then about 15 minutes ago we spotted blood spots on the (cream) carpet - after checking it wasn't my foot we found the cat and sure enough his paw was bleeding.

    We tried to wash his paw to see what was causing the bleeding and at that point we spotted a huge lump of poo stuck to the fur on his arse -urgh! 88|

    Cue yet another bath for the moggy :no:

  • Minging thing #1

    Sarah went back to work today after the Christmas break (it should have been yesterday but for the bug)

    She went to put her lunch in her schoolbag and found the remains of her lunch from before Christmas :no:

  • Scouting for Girls

    There's a song around at the moment by Scouting for Girls called She's so lovely and I have a problem with the lyrics!!

    In one verse they sing

    "Come see me, discreatly"

    to which I keep wanting to add

    "Beat me on the bottom with a woman's weekly"

    Bloody Victoria Wood!

    Worrying thing is it fits - not just with the music but with the theme of the song - missed a trick there lads!!

    (and is it just me but is their song "Elvis ain't Dead" the same song but with different words!!

  • Next year

    I can't believe that on the 9th on January we are sitting planning next New Years Eve but we are!

    We fancy this

    Stonehaven Fireballs

    after seeing the Tar Barrel ceremony again (see earlier blog) we fancy going to Stonehaven to see the Fireball parade - can you see a theme yet?

  • The great MP3 disaster

    I put my MP3 player in my pocket this morning when I set off to do the school run. I had to take Ben with me as Sarah has had this bug that has been going round (see previous post).

    Anyway after dropping the girls I had to take eldest stepdaughter for an appointment at the Orthodontist. I took her and while I waited I chased Ben round the waiting room and played with the toys. Afterwards I dropped her back to school and went home (I had a day off).

    When I got home I went to empty my coat pockets and the MP3 player wasn't there. Panic - after all I had only just bought it before Christmas!

    I searched the car and the house but it was nowhere to be seen. Sarah suggested I phone the Orthodontists but I said I didn't think there was much point as it probably wouldn't be handed in if someone had found it. But eventually I rang them and the girl said it hadn't been handed in but she would go upstairs and have a look.

    Five minutes later she rang back to say she had found it under a chair - phew!

  • Early morning alarm puke!

    At 5am this morning we were awoken by the sound of first coughing and then a small boy being sick.

    So we got up, cleaned him up, changed his pj's and his bed sheet and put him back to bed again.

    We went back to bed and at 5:20, just as we were getting comfy he did it again.

    Another cleanup, change of pj's and bedding.

    Back to bed and at 5:45 he does it again. And again at 6:15!

    Four pairs of pj's, three bed sheets, three pillows and four pillowcases in just over an hour.

    Oh well it's time to get up now anyway..

  • Hangover from the past

    Sarah and I were discussing things that we still do that are no longer relevant.

    For example her nan still fills the kettle every night before bed - apparently this comes from wartime in case there was a bombing raid in the night and there was no running water when they got up.

    I still leave a small amount of tea in the bottom of a cup - a reminder of when nasty tea leaves lingered there!

    Anyone else have similar stories?

  • Happy New Year

    Happy New Year to everyone

    We saw the New Year in in Allendale Northumberland watching the annual Tar Barrel ceremony

    More pictures here


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